give

i've defaulted on a few loans
lately and the lenders have now closed
their windows to me
for not meeting their terms

perhaps i'm sorry or
just not taken in by the
rate of interest and how it all felt
like an ambush of serpents

i prefer equal terms scribed
within the bright tails of those luminaries
with whom i've shared some
meteoric passing

an exchange of corresponding
light against a contrasting dark
no unparallels
no imbalances in our intensities

you burn for ______ and i burn for _______
expressed in a graduation
of interest and meaning
to step in step, in kind, and deliberately

all my recent lenders are
on a take after all - saying with
full mouths whatever it takes to
convince me of their hunger

does anyone give truly
without the shading
eclipse of want?

does anyone truly want
without feeling the
sweep of guilt's hacking scythe?

i'm a fool in the
service of my heart
and lack the cool
dispassion of ice

that covers the lake
in winter or the
hot hunger
of fire in the wild

unable to believe that what i will
lose from offering my passions
will counterbalance
what i will gain

and that it all
in the end is an
exercise in the
leveling out of truths

and i suppose we
lose, we all
do, in the games
we play with our hearts

no one is the same
and we all fly toward
what we desire with
faults in our wings

but i -
i want my want to
be not answered
with your beckoning palms

but rather with
an open cup
into which i
pour myself

to be consumed
with genuine thirst
and to give equitable
nourishment to a lover

than to be asked
and asked again
and shown vile
disdain

if my cup goes
dry from
the evaporating
powers of your selfishness

as if one can
taste the flavors of
my affections with
a mouth full of bile

let's give and
give; allow to
be given to and
let it be just that

and then - then
i will refill my
cup for you
and for you